"Confession of a Soldier" is a series of promotional short stories published prior to the release of Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War. The series consists of eight chapters, or diaries which tell a parallel story with the games events.
Book contents
Page 1
Translation pending.
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Volume Cover
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April 13 1995 Captain Erhardt
April 13 1995 Dinner
1995年4月13日 天気：晴れ
戦場に来て5日が経つ。書き慣れない日記なんてものを、入隊から書き始め早や5ヶ月。厳しい訓練を乗り越え、ついに僕は戦場へ来た！祖国のため、平和の為、自らの身を呈し貢献することのなんと素晴らしいことか！4月だというのに、国境近くの朝は相変わらず寒い。今朝も6時からの総員点呼、空気は冷たいが、空は青々と澄み渡っていた。僕が所属するベルカ陸軍 第八機甲師団 第三歩兵部隊トーラー・フント隊（狂犬の意！）は、主に地上での敵制圧、守備を任務とする部隊だ。
このトーラー・フント隊には、ベルカ軍に於いて最も有能且つ勇敢な猛者が揃っている。中でも隊を指揮するエアハルト大尉は、深夜奇襲でウスティオ戦車部隊を、なんと3人だけの小隊、パンツァーファウストのみで撃破したツワモノだ。普段の彼はとても穏やかで語り口も柔らかく、よく故郷に残した幼い息子の話しをしてくれる。息子の話をする際の大尉の瞳は暖かく、優しい灯がともる。しかしながら、一旦戦場に出ると、エアハルト大尉の瞳は、獲物を狙う冷ややかな虎の眼光へと変貌する。鉄板さえも射抜くような鋭い光、声を掛けることさえ憚れるような眼光だ。
閑話休題。本日の夕食も、いつものようにテント脇で暖を囲みながら仲間と共にとった。今宵のメインディッシュは鶏のグリルと茹でたジャガイモ。勿論レーションだ。このレーションという戦闘糧食、最初は少し抵抗があった。しかれどこのレーション、その味に慣れてくると美味しく感じるのも事実。僕も少しだけ一人前の兵士に近づいたということだろうか。レーションには主食、コーヒー、タバコ、デザートのキャラメルまで、揃えて10品目以上が入っている。戦場のど真ん中で取るフルコースは、一日の疲れと緊張を解してくれる。
満天の星空の下、仲間たちと暖を囲みながら夕食をとると、子供の頃のキャンプを思い出して懐かしい気持ちになった。夜になると外はまだ肌寒い。あと30分もすれば就寝の時間だ。僕たち中隊は明日、ベルカ南部にある幹線道路171号線の守備補強へ向かう。
ミハエル・コール
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Volume Cover
- Two Soldiers.jpg
April 13 1995 エアハルト大尉
April 13 1995 夕食風景
Page 2
April 15, 1995 - Weather: Sunny
When we got near to our destination, Route 171, my eyes were stunned at the black smoke that was going up. The smell of gasoline and the fragrance of gunpowder enveloped the rural area. "The smell of the battlefield is more appetizing than my mom's cooking", the sniper, "Cowboy" murmured, caressing the G3 with his tobacco-tarred fingers.
Several hours before we got to the destination, an Ustio air squadron launched an attack on the Belkan forces along Route 171 and inflicted serious damage to the forces stationed there. Being unable to get close to our destination, Sector D27, we are currently hiding in a woods 50 km away from there. When we got here, there were young soldiers who retreated from the frontline, soldiers who were on their way there for a reinforcement purpose just like us, soldiers being carried into first aid tents, screams, unanswered radio calls... Intense images were being blended in rapid succession. At the sight of those unfamiliar sceneries, I got nauseated, was caught in vertigo, and went white-out blind. Then I found myself on my hunkers.
The face of the commander of the platoon that retreated from the frontline was completely sooted, and the only thing that was clear was the raging fury in his eyes like the moon shining red in the night sky. He grasped my neck while I was still on my hunkers and scolded me for not doing any medical treatment for the wounded soldiers. Though inexperienced, I managed to bandage them up, send those on stretchers to the helicopters, give water to those lying on camp beds, and we finally completed the setup of the campsite at dusk. Totally exhausted now. Blisters are all over my hands because I was shoveling a trench for as long as 3 hours. My throat is sore and stiff because of the soot. And then before I knew it, my appetite was gone.
April 15, 1995 - At Route 171
Thought I wanted to stay alone tonight. To avoid getting assaulted again by Ustio forces, the use of light and fire is restricted. While lying on my camp bed and having a cup of coffee, Franz from the same unit came in with chocolates. Franz, who cut his hair Mohawk style before heading to Route 171, threw a pity party and wistfully talked about how angry he was against Ustio and how to get his revenge, and made me laugh, as always, at the end of the talk with his sense of humor. "Just don't get too shocked. Learn to accept the situation as such", Captain Erhard tapped me in the shoulder in the regular meeting and said, "A powerful unit has already been formed to take back Route 171 and is on its way to the frontline." I can sense a surge of anger and hatred against Ustio rising up inside me.
Those who kiss the superpowers' ass to secure their benefits, act arrogantly in international society and pose a threat to the neighboring country.
Those who resist the times of revolution.
Those who are responsible for the deaths of our fellows.
Such bastards will never be forgiven.
The sound of recon jets from Ustio that occasionally pass by overhead boosts my irritaiton and anger even more.
Ustio must lose.
Michael Kohl
1995年 4月 15日 天気 ：快晴
目的地である171号線に近づくと、登り立つ幾つもの黒煙に目を奪われた。田園地帯を覆うガソリンの匂いと火薬の香り、狙撃兵の『カウボーイ』は、「戦場の匂いはオフクロの飯よりもそそる」と、ヤニまみれの指先でＧ３を撫でながら呟いた。
僕らが目的地に着く数時間ほど前、ウスティオの航空機部隊が171号線周辺のベルカ軍を急襲、駐屯していた部隊に壊滅的な打撃を与えた。現在、僕らは守備補強目的地であるD27地区にも近づくことができず、50km程離れた林の中に隠れている。到着時、付近には前線から後退してきた若い兵士、僕らのように守備補強に向かうはずだった兵士、救護テントへ運ばれる兵士、怒号、 応答の無い無線・・・強烈なイメージが目まぐるしく交差していた。初めて見る、光景に頭の中が真っ白になった僕は、激しい吐き気と眩暈に襲われ、気付けばその場にしゃがみ込んでいた。
前線から後退してきた部隊長の顔は煤だらけで、その眼光だけが、夜空に光る赤い月のように怒り輝いていた。彼はしゃがみこむ僕の首元を掴み、負傷兵の手当てをするようにと怒鳴りつけた。あたふたしながらも慣れない手つきで包帯を巻き、担架に乗せられた負傷兵をヘリまで運び、簡易ベッドに横たわる仲間に水を飲ませ、夕暮れ近く、やっと野営地の設営を完了した。今の僕はドロドロに疲れ果て、3時間もショベルで塹壕を掘り続けたおかげで手はマメだらけになり、煤で喉がヒリヒリと痛み強張り、食欲さえも消え失せている。
15 April 1995 171号線にて
今夜は一人で居たいと思った。ウスティオの再奇襲を避けるため、灯りと火の使用も制限されている。簡易ベッドに座り温かいコーヒーを飲んでいると、同じ部隊のフランツがチョコレートを持ってやって来た。171号線に向かう前、頭髪をモホーク・スタイルに剃り上げたフランツは、ウスティオに対する怒りと報復の念を切々と語り、最後はいつもの与太話で笑わせてくれた。
定期連絡の際、エアハルト大尉は『あまりショックを受けず、状況をやり過ごすことも身につけろ』と、僕の肩を叩いた。『既に強力な171号線奪還部隊が編成され、前線に向かっている』事も教えてくれた。こうして日記を書いていると、ウスティオに対する激しい怒りと憎しみが僕の中でこみ上げてくる。『自国の利益の為に大国に尻尾を振り、国際社会で幅を利かせ、隣国を脅威に晒すような奴等』『時代の変革に抗う奴ら』『仲間を死に追いやった奴ら』そういう汚い奴らを僕は絶対に許さない。時折上空を掠めるウスティオの偵察機のジェット音が、僕の苛立ちや怒りを更に増幅させる。必ずウスティオを倒す。
ミハエル・コール
Page 3
April 27th, 1995 - Weather: Fair
Wondering where to start. Or rather, I can't even remember in detail what happened in the past few days. Were my eardrums burst? Feels like I can't hear things well. On April 24th, 1995, I was posted to the Futuro Canal in southern Belka and experienced a battle for the first time. When the order was issued to cancel the operation to take back Route 171, we immediately moved to a naval port within the Futuro Canal. I guess that was in afternoon.
A terrible alarm suddenly went off in the port. At that time, I was taking a break on a quay along the port, gazing at the waves coming and going aimlessly. I was in a world different from a battlefield, being peacefully poised between reality and fantasy. That moment was shattered in an instant by the sound of the alarm and fear and tension thundered through my body, a feeling I had for the first time since I was born. The facility was enveloped by a bustling atmosphere and all hands immediately moved into combat position. And a moment of silence ensued. That silence was broken by deafening roars of jets, machine guns, and successive explosions that almost matched the timing of those attacks.
From this point forward, my memory is blurred. Colors of blood and fire, columns of black smoke, Rosenberg who kept firing a heavy machine gun at random while frightened, empty gazes from dead soldiers, impacts, explosions, water sprays, shouts, roars, cuss words...
I was running around with 10 milimeters amidst that storm... I guess. Bullets just skimmed over my helmet and I was almost minced by gunfire from an enemy fighter. It would be a white lie if I said that I had no fear, but I still wanted to swat down that Ustio fighter with a heavy machine gun. I was unspeakably hyped up. I don't remember how long the battle continued. Before I knew it, those deafening jet sounds disappeared and groans and screams echoed in the facility. When I was standing at a loss, an enemy fighter with its one wing painted in red soared overhead, in a carefree manner, as if to scoff at us.
April 27th, 1995 - Near Futuro Canal
I'm alive. Several days before this battle, a large scale air battle reportedly took place near the border. It was only two enemy planes that invaded B7R, and they went head to head with our ace squadron. They were knocked out by our aces and rushed back to base. That's what I heard.
There's no telling when the facilities can be reconstructed. There's no telling when the enemy launches a next surprise attack either. I'm not informed what kind of mission we are going to be engaged in, nor even if we will remain in this place. The only thing I'm certain of is that I'm on the battlefield.
Michael Kohl
1995年4月27日 天気：晴れ
何から書けばいいのか分からない。そもそもこの数日間の事さえ、こと細かに思い出すことができない。耳の鼓膜が破れたのか？物音さえはるか遠くに聞こえる。1995年4月24日、ベルカ南にあるフトゥーロ運河に於き、僕は初の実戦を経験した。171号線の作戦解除命令が出た直後、僕らはフトゥーロ運河にある軍港へと移動した。午後のことだったと思う。軍港内に凄まじい警報が鳴り響いた。其の時僕は港脇の岸壁で休憩を取り、寄せ返す波をぼんやり見つめていた。戦場とは別の世界、のどかな虚実は凄まじい警報音により一瞬で打ち破られ、恐怖と緊張の稲妻が全身を貫いた。生まれて初めての感覚。慌しい空気に被いつくされる施設内、すぐさま総員戦闘配置に移行、やがて来る一瞬の静寂。
沈黙を打ち砕いたのは、けたたましいジェット音と機銃掃射、それに呼応するかのように連続する爆発音だった。
ここからの記憶が曖昧だ。血の色や炎、登り立つ黒煙、脅えながら出鱈目に重機関銃を撃ち続けるローゼンバーグ、こと切れた兵士の空虚な眼差し、着弾音、爆発音、水しぶき、叫び声、怒鳴り声、怒り声・・・僕はその嵐の中を、１0ミリ弾を抱えて走り回っていた、筈だ。戦闘機の機銃掃射に危うく微塵にされそうになり、弾丸がヘルメットをかすめていった。恐怖が無かったと言えば大きな嘘だが、それより重機関銃を操り、僕もこの手であのウスティオの戦闘機を叩き落してやりたかった。言い知れない興奮を感じていた。どれぐらいの間戦闘が続いたのかを覚えていない。気付けばジェット戦闘機の爆音は消え去り、施設内には呻き声と叫び声だけが響いていた。片翼を赤く塗った敵戦闘機が、立ちつくす僕の頭上をかすめ飛び去った。まるであざ笑うかのように、悠々とした姿で。
April 27 1995 フトゥーロ運河付近
僕は生きている。
この戦闘の数日前、国境付近に於いても大規模な航空戦が行われたという。敵は２機だけでB7Rに侵入、我が軍のエース部隊と真正面からぶつかったらしい。敵機は我が軍のエースに叩きのめされ、慌てて基地に逃げ帰ったそうだ。そういう話だ。
施設復旧の目処は立っていない。敵の強襲も又何時やとも知れない。どんな任務に就くのか、この場に残るのかさえも知らされていない。ただ、今の僕に分かること、それは戦場に居るという事実だけだ。
ミハエル・コール
Page 4
May 14th, 1995 - Weather: Fair
he coalition forces of Ustio and Osea began the invasion into Belka. In response to the preceding battle, our forces stationed in the Futuro Canal dispersed. Our Tollwut Hund unit left the naval port and is now hiding along the river. The weapons we gathered while retreating are two 50 caliber heavy machine guns, one 40mm grenade launcher, one small armored vehicle, several RPGs, and standard combat equipments for each personnel. To be honest, these are far from something we can rely on.
The enemy has now taken the canal, and they are intending to send troops and attack verhicles by ship in an initiative to avalanche into Belka with numbers and mobility. Should they invade our country... I'm worried about my mom in my hometown. We frequently move from one place to another due to changes in operations, so I can't even receive letters.
The members of the Tollwut Hund unit are Captain Erhard, Captain's assistant Sergeant Mayer, Corporal Piper known as "The Smile", Corporal Berger, former pro soccer player, Private Schneider "The Sniper", Private Rosenberg whose parents run a women’s underwear shop, Private Franz who is my age, and me Private Kohl. That is 8 men altogether.
We left Futuro and are hiding in the desert. But there has been no official orders from HQ since we retreated, and we are stuck in the sand. Franz is in contact with HQ by radio, but people higher up don't seem to have decided what to do next because of the unexpected defeat at Futuro. "Hide along the river for the time being and shoot the allied forces going up the river." What? Are the upper echelons joking? If we attack hostile military vessels with weapons like these, fighters will quickly take off from the carrier and then we're gonna be toast right on the spot. "There is no need to follow ridiculous orders."Captain Erhard said, and prohibited us from any act of firing. We found a cave suitable to hide in temporarily in a hilly area in the desert. We are surveying the landfalls of the allied forces from this place and are reporting them to HQ from time to time.
May 14th, 1995 - Hilly Area in the Desert
Anyway, we have to get out of this place soon. There aren't enough weapons and food. The number of the enemies going up the river is increasing day by day. I'm wondering why HQ doesn't send air squadrons here. If only we could launch all-out attacks again... I'm watching the enemy through a telescope today yet again, holding back my wish to fire at them.
1995年5月14日 天気：晴れ
ウスティオとオーシアの連合軍が、ベルカ国内に侵攻をはじめる。先の強襲を受け、フトゥーロ運河に駐留する我が軍は散開、我々トーラー・フント隊も軍港を離れ、今は河周辺に身を潜めている。退却しながら掻き集めた武器は、50口径重機関銃2丁、40mmグレネードランチャー１丁、小型装甲車両1両、RPG数砲、そして各自の標準装備。
正直心もとない装備だ。
運河を奪った敵は、艦船で兵員や攻撃車両を送り込み、数と機動力でベルカ国内に雪崩れ込むつもりだ。奴らが国内に入るようなことになれば、故郷に残る母さんのことが心配だ。作戦による移動が多く、手紙をさえ受け取ることができない。トーラー・フント隊の兵員は、部隊長のエアハルト大尉、大尉の補佐役マイヤー軍曹、『スマイル』ことパイパー伍長、元プロサッカー選手のベルガー伍長、『カウボーイ』ことシュナイダー二等兵、実家が女性用下着屋のローゼンバーグ二等兵、同い歳のフランツ二等兵、そして僕コール一等兵の計8人だ。フトゥーロを捨て砂漠に隠れる僕らだが、撤退後は本部からの正式行動命令がないまま、砂の中に立ち往生している。フランツが無線で本部との連絡を取っているが、予想だにしなかったフトゥーロでの敗北に、お偉方も次の一手を決めかねている。『とりあえずは河口付近に身を隠し、河を登ってくる連合軍を狙い撃て』だって？上層部はふざけているのか。艦船で航行する敵にこんな装備で攻撃を仕掛けたら、すぐさま空母から戦闘機が飛び出してきて焼き殺されるのが関の山だろう。『馬鹿げた指示に従う必要は無い』と、エアハルト大尉も一切の発砲を僕らに禁じていた。砂漠の丘陵地帯に、一時身を隠すのには最適な洞穴を見つけた。僕らはここをベースに上陸する連合軍を監視、適時本部へ連絡を入れている。
May 14 1995 砂漠の丘陵地帯
何れにせよ、早いうちに此処から出なければならない。武器も食料も十分ではない。河を登る敵の数は、日増しに増えているというのに。何故本部は航空部隊をよこさないのだ。再度全軍で総攻撃をかければ．．．『発砲したい』という気持ちを抑えながら、今日も僕はスコープ越しに敵を見ている。
ミハエル・コールPage 5
May 18th, 1995 Weather: Rain
On the battlefield, waking up at the sound of the rotors of an approaching Pavehawk is a daily routine as natural as seasoning a sunny side up egg with salt at breakfast. I never became so happy on this battlefield as when I saw that low flying black silhouette approaching us. A long time had passed since we asked for a rescue by radio. I even thought HQ had abandoned us.
The last thing I wanted to do was die of hunger and I had even started to think it was meaningless coming to this battlefield. The helicopter crew who came to our rescue got the job done so quickly that I thought I saw how true professionals take care of business. The longer the helicopter hovers in the air, the more easily it takes hits from the enemy. The helicopter needs to hover in the air as long as the rescue operation is carried out. If it is targeted in this moment by, say, a SAM, it's doomed. Game over.
Inside the craft, one of the rescue team members gave each of us a chocolate bar, and it was something I liked very much as a kid and was sweet enough to fully realize that I was still alive. We arrived at a rear base at midnight.
Wrapped in incomparable joy, all of us hugged each other on the runway except Captain Erhard. His face remained grave, and he had a small talk with a superior waiting for his arrival.
Now, I can finally sleep with peace of mind. Take a shower, eat my fill of roast beef, drink a gallon of milk, and when I wake up in the next morning, I can write my mom a letter. This is what I was thinking. We were waiting for the superior to finish talking with Captain Erhard on the runway. Looking at his face as he was walking back to us, I had a bad feeling about it. Actually, I already had it inside the Pavehawk. He said, "In about 5 hours from now at 0600, we Tollwut Hund Unit members are on our way to Tauberg in order to participate in Operation Brandfleck proposed by HQ. We are going to fly to target destination by helicopter. Upon arrival, we will meet up with the 8th Armed Division of the Belkan Army. Your rendezvous point is the D-2 heliport, at 0530, 30 minutes before the start of the operation. Each one of you is allowed free action until 0530. Regarding the facilities in Doris Air Base, an explanation will be..."
May 18th, 1995
Right after I came to the battlefield, I believed what would emerge after the war was our victory. But now, I've come to think otherwize. I don't want my war to end with my death. That's the only thing I have in mind now. There's no way I talk to my comrades about such a thing, but I guess they are thinking same deep down inside. Wanna make it back alive. Just wanna make it back alive. That's the feeling we have in common, and the only motivation for us to be here on this battlefield.
Michael KohlComing soon.
Page 6
May 22nd, 1995 Weather: Rain
My dad often drove me here for deer hunting when I was a kid. We used to get into the forest at sunrize, bated our breaths, and kept walking. Just kept on walking silently on the leeward to elude the deer's keen sense of smell and hearing.
It was when I was 10 years old that I pulled the trigger of a rifle for the first time.
The taste of the hot chocolate I drank sitting on an old fallen tree with my dad was excellent. When military base construction was undertaken in Tauberg, my dad actively partook in the anti-base-construction campaign. Here I and my dad leaned how to coexist with nature, how to overcome it, and how to conquer it. More than 10 years have passed since then, and I'm back here in Tauberg once again, now. My dad is not by my side this time, and my target through the telescope is not a wild animal. We moved to Excalibur by helicopter. The advanced equipment of this facility is simply amazing.
It's night. I can hear howls of wolves from beyond the wire fences. The figure of Excalibur, a tower that stands tall as if to reach the sky, is sort of anomalous in this place. Operation Brandfleck seems to be to lure enemy forces into Excalibur's range and annihilate them by making the best use of chemical laser weaponry. I'm ready. I've had my share of shooting experiences here since I was 10. All we have to do now is wait for the enemy to enter the net.
Michael KohlComing soon.
Page 7
May 30th, 1995 Weather: Cloudy
A trap is the oldest device for hunting, and is useful because it can capture game with less effort than using other tactics. Traps are efficient and are still used to exterminate rats, cockroaches, and other vermin.
On May 23rd, Operation Brandfleck was carried out under the direct command of HQ. The main objective of this operation was to lure an enemy mercenary unit called "Galm Team" into within the range of Excalibur and take them all out at once with its laser beams. That mercenary unit seemed to be very skilled.
There was a rumor going around everywhere that a mercenary flight unit of the allied forces was unstoppable, and HQ had started to think seriously about wiping them out. It was after Excalibur fell that I knew that the plane with a red wing I saw at Futuro belonged to the team everybody had been talking about. The Sword of Tauberg was destroyed by the wingman of the single red wing plane and was miserably broken right in half with deafening roars.
The scenery of the fall of Excalibur was exactly like a nightmare picture of the medieval times. Having penetrated the laser defense network and entered the airspace right above the base, Galm Team scattered every missile they carried over Tauberg. I was ordered to operate Corporal Berger's self-propelled AA artillery and joined battle with the enemy from inside the forest nearby. A few hours later from the start of the operation, enemy air squadrons showed up. The Corporal opened fire right away. He was so hyped up that he kept cussing while shooting.
Several minutes into combat, a small AGM hit the ground 70 feet away from my self-propelled artillery. Didn't look like Corporal Berger noticed it. "VT fuse!" I shouted out, leaped off from the vehicle, and then shielded myself with the caterpillar. He was still firing at the sky while I braced myself. I had never experienced such an awful explosion. Trees shuddered, the AA artillery jumped several inches up into the air, and the gruesome blast from the explosion ripped at my cheeks and ears. That's as far as I can remember.
After I came to, it took me some time to understand whether I was alive or dead. After I guessed that I was still alive, it took me even more time to come to think that I had to do something. In order to take a simple action of getting to my feet, I prepared my whole body, gave my arms an order to "move", gave my legs an order to "bend", closed my eyes, and my body slowly started to make motions. I was in the silence of the forest as I sensed an enormous amount of time passing by.
May 30th, 1995 - Hilly Area in Tauberg
It was almost at dusk in Tauberg when the corpse of Corporal Berger was found. The parts of what used to be "Corporal Berger" several hours ago were scattered around everywhere, and it was impossible for us to find them all. I started to walk to the center of the base, dragging my leg stabbed by a metal piece. When I managed to limp back there, there were nothing but bodies of dead soldiers, heaps of rubble, a few medics, and a smell of gasoline. There was nothing beautiful at all. "Are you alright?", a medic said to me. But I ignored him and walked on. Then I noticed a tattoo of a bold skeleton crushing the peace symbol in his hand on the arm of a soldier on a stretcher. I lifted the cover sheet and saw a severely damaged corpse. It was Rosenberg.
I received a blanket from a medic and sat on a rubble. There came a bald-headed man. An officer? He seemed to have come here from a rear area to confirm the situation. When he passed by me, I saw a slight smile on his ugly face. He was terribly vivid, seeing those soldiers who luckily survived, giving them a slap on the back, and saying words of encouragement which were just as useless as shit. He must be one of those who risk other's lives so as to avoid coming to the frontline. Or rather, he is one of those clever asses who have the ability and method to keep away from a bad place at a bad time. I recognized him as such right on the spot.
It's obvious that this country wouldn't stop fighting this war. "Learn to accept the situation as such" is to know how to eliminate human's innate emotions and live for lies, deception, and selfishness? I just can't devote my life to honor and pride in a situation where my friends die and my parents are in danger. It's because I have already lost faith in this war.
Michael KohlComing soon.
Page 8
June 19, 1995
War is hatched from the egg of patriotism. Every comrade I met and parted with on the battlefield loved Belka. "Devote everything for the sake of our country." Slogans of that kind were everywhere in town before the war started. We, those who were born in Belka, have been mature patriots since the moment we were born into this world. We were enthused about a politician's speech when were babies, and we formed lines early in the morning when there was a military parade. We never failed to give thanks when we surrounded the table to have a homely meal everyday.
We kissed the national flower many times when snow melted away and spring came. I had never thought about the reason why I loved my homeland. My dad, dad's dad, and even his dad loved this country of Belka, and took strong pride in doing so. A country that had a different thought than Belka had was Belka's foe, and the foe was destined to perish definitely. No matter how prejudiced it might sound, this was how the majority of people believed. I, too, had loved Belkan soil, trees, and water and taken pride in all of them since I was a kid. I was certain this country was the pivot of the world and everything else. And so, demons of nuclear weaponry quietly landed on the homeland of Belka I had held affection for.
The discord between the military authorities and politicians is unquestionable. Actually, confusion and divisiveness are growing rapidly inside the military. Those who try to continue the war, those who try to quickly make up for the loss in postwar settlement, those who put down guns and escape, those who live for self-interest. Anarchy prevails on the battlefield and in the country. Rumors are going around that it was compatriots who pressed the buttons of nuclear detonations. "Why?"
It's said that multiple nuclear explosions took place simultaneously. I had heard that the military had been developing small-sized nuclear bombs called "Radioactive Detonators" for years. It seems the Radioactive Detonator is, although extremely powerful, very small, and looks like an ordinary grenade. It can adjust the blast radius by the 100 yard unit, and the detonation sequence is to pull the slide trigger atop the detonator. This is the kind of a weapon that attracts evil.
Amidst the mixture of rumors and truths, I still cannot get in contact with my mom. No matter how hard those stupid civilian employees of the military try to continue the war, and even if there are bastards and politicians who profit from the war, this war will end. It was decided. Belka was defeated. I no longer have a hope and respect for this country and politicians. Not that I hate this country, but I've noticed that a country is, after all, an inorganic entity. History, tradition, what I couldn't see due to the retraints caused by the biased politics, or rather, what I had not tried to see. Now that I've seen life and death closely, and something, though very blurred, has started to become visible. Totalitarianism sometimes brings about fear. I see the pride and truth in me being Michael Kohl, and would like to end this war of mine.
The ceasefire negotiation with the allied forces and Belka's disarmament have started. The war has virtually ended, and the troops are becoming cheerful gradually. Although there are those who sneak around to recruit young soldiers into guerrillas, nobody is listening to them anymore. A few days ago, Kurtzlinger, an old soldier, caused a skirmish. It seemed he pushed his luck a little too far to recruit his man. He is said to have pointed a gun to the forehead of the young soldier while recruiting him. Just before Kurtzlinger pulled the trigger, several soldiers stopped him and the situation was settled down. Kurtzlinger was a violent man, and his men hated him. In fact, many people hated him.
Next morning, the corpse of Kurtzlinger was found bound to a drum can only with an underwear on. Nobody got surprised at the sight of it, and his body was buried in a woods in the end by some gentle soldiers.
There used to be order and formalities here, but not now. The war is over, and everyone is equal in citizenship. There are some people who pay back interest on the slap in the face on the battlefield by means of bullets of lead after coming back home alive. Hatred is a flame that burns permanently inside those who have the feeling of hatred. "Try not to stand out on the battlefield as much as possible and lurk with bated breath." This statement may sound stupid, but I will remember this someday when a rain of bullets falls.
June 19, 1995: To Anfang
The order was issued that the remnant forces should immediately surrender to the allied forces. A bit too simple an order, but considering the situation, there is nothing to wonder at. Everything will be finally over. I'm trying not to think of my mom and Captain Erhard who has been incommunicado. I don't give a damn what the allied forces' administration will be like. I can't imagine that it couldn't be worse than now. It will take the allied forces some time to settle things down when we arrive at Anfang and surrender. But it'll be just a little while. After all, they are humans too. There's no way they would abuse us.
I made it through alive, and the war is over. Anfang. I've never been there, but it will be a place I will never forget for the rest of my life.
Michael KohlComing soon.